How to Handle Vacations While Your Divorce Is Pending

Life does not stand still while you are going through a divorce. You may still want to engage in self-care and make memories with your children by taking a vacation with them.

While your divorce is pending, you will need to plan and communicate with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse before taking a vacation with your children. Getting permission from the other parent and/or the court is necessary to avoid confusion and possible allegations of wrongdoing.

Parents are generally not prohibited from going on vacation with their children while their divorce is pending. It could be therapeutic for parents and their children to spend some time together and to get away from everyday life during what is a difficult time for the family. Going on vacation may give children a sense of normalcy when their current situation is anything but normal. Depending on how they are handling the divorce process, a vacation could help reinvigorate the moods and outlooks of family members struggling with a divorce.

As soon as you begin thinking that you may want to take a vacation, you should consult with your divorce attorney so you can formulate a plan for securing an agreement from the other parent or permission from the court before you start paying for flights, accommodations, and other expenses.

Communicate and Reach an Agreement with the Other Parent

When it comes to spending time with your children in general while your divorce is pending, the best course of action is to reach an interim agreement with the other parent that allocates parenting time until the divorce is final. This agreement could also address each parent’s ability to go on vacation with the children before the case is finalized, along with any limitations. Each parent may have the ability to take a trip with the children, either during their own custodial time or at an otherwise mutually agreed-upon time. If your case is highly contested, you may need the assistance of the court, or an agreed-upon third party (e.g., a Parent Coordinator), to help facilitate such a schedule.

Generally, you are always better off communicating with the other parent and receiving their permission to go on the trip. Whenever possible, you should formalize the details and try to have them entered as part of a court order to protect yourself from any allegations of wrongdoing or that you took advantage of the situation.

Consider including in your agreement with the other parent, which, again, could be submitted as a court order, details about:

• The duration of the trip
• Flight information, if applicable
• Where the children will be staying and with whom they will be staying
• When the children will be returning to home
• Contact information for where the children will be staying
• An emergency contact number
• Whether the other parent can speak to the children when they are on vacation, how often, and at what times (to prevent the vacation being ruined by phone calls and FaceTime requests throughout it)

International travel is a different matter. One parent may be concerned that the other parent will kidnap the children and not return them home, or that the trip involves a country that is subject to a travel advisory. An interim court order might forbid international travel while the divorce is pending. Depending on the circumstances, there may even be restrictions on international travel after the divorce is finalized.

Requesting a Court Order to Allow a Vacation

If the other parent will not agree to your vacation with the children, you may need to involve the court. You would need to file a motion seeking a court order that allows you to take the trip. It would be up to the judge to determine if you can take the vacation you planned or if the trip must be modified. The judge’s modifications could include limitations or conditions beyond any that the other parent was requesting.

If you fail to proactively communicate with the other parent about your vacation and embark upon a trip without any notice, you may be accused of kidnapping. The court could enter an order of protection that could keep you from seeing your children. In extreme cases, you may even face criminal or contempt of court charges.

The Other Parent May Want to Vacation With The Children

It is likely that at some point the shoe will be on the other foot and the other parent will want to take a vacation with the children. You may have valid reasons to object to their plans and might want to place conditions on what the other parent may do out of concern for the best interests of your children.

In that case, you should speak to your divorce attorney about what you can do to safeguard your children’s well-being. Your attorney should advise you to be reasonable in your demands, and ensure they are based upon the children’s best interests and not just an effort to either retaliate against the other parent or gain a perceived advantage in the divorce case.

At Mosberg Sharma Stambleck Gross, we know how to leverage our experience to find creative solutions to our clients’ difficult divorce issues, including how to navigate life while a divorce is pending.

Call us today at 212-678-8500 to learn more about how we may be able to help you with your family or matrimonial law issues.